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Transcripts/The Parent Map
:on door :Mail Pony: sighs :on door :on door :opens :Mail Pony: throat Morning, Sunburst. :Sunburst: What? Oh! Hi! nervously You know, no matter how many times I read it, Houyhnhnm's Guide to Magical Arcana never gets boring. :Mail Pony: If you say so. I've got another letter for you. From Sire's Hollow. :Sunburst: Mm-hmm. Sure thing. :closes :Mail Pony: groans :thud :sounds :Sunburst: What's this? Could I be experiencing the cerebration transmogrification effect described in chapter seventeen—? :thud :Sunburst: Oh. My cutie mark is glowing. My cutie mark is glowing! I know what this means! Why am I yelling?! : :Sunburst: Princess Twilight, what an honor this is! I-I mean, it is, right? I'm called for a friendship mission? :Twilight Sparkle: You sure are. And it must be a special one. Nopony outside of Ponyville has ever been called before. :Spike: If you need some pointers, let me know. I've been on my fair share of missions. :Twilight Sparkle: You've been on one, Spike. :Spike: And that's my fair share. :opens :Sunburst: Starlight! You mean we've both been called? This is great! :Starlight Glimmer: depressed Yeah... Great... :Sunburst: Aren't you excited? You and me on a mission together! :Starlight Glimmer: groans :Sunburst: I'm... sorry. Are you not excited to go on a mission with me? :Starlight Glimmer: No. Uh, no! I mean, yes. Heh. Totally excited about us going together. Just... not so excited about where. :Sunburst: Sire's Hollow? :Starlight Glimmer: Yep. Home. :Sunburst: deflated Oh. Great. :Spike: You know, I can go if you two don't want to. I am kind of an expert. :Twilight Sparkle, Starlight Glimmer, and Sunburst: groans :chugging :conversations :Starlight Glimmer: sighs It's not that I don't want to go home. It's just that whenever I do, my dad treats me like a filly. Like nothing's changed since I was a foal. :Sunburst: Huh. :Starlight Glimmer: I know. I'm a horrible daughter. :Sunburst: N-No, no! My mom actually does kind of the same thing. :Starlight Glimmer: Really? :Sunburst: I don't even have to go home. She sends me letters constantly asking about my plans for the future. Stellar Flare "You're a grown-up pony, Sunburst! You need a plan!" sighs I haven't been home in a while either. :Starlight Glimmer: Hmph. We'll just have to explain to our parents that we're on an important friendship mission so they can't bother us. :Sunburst: Do you really think that will work? :Starlight Glimmer: Nope! :hissing :whistle :chugging :Sunburst: sighs The great thing about home is it always stays just how you le— :thud :Sunburst: Augh! :Starlight Glimmer: Where did that come from? :creaking :Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! :"Ever Essence": Essence? :Sunburst: Essence of what? :"Ever Essence": You tell me. :spritz :Sunburst: coughing :Starlight Glimmer: What is it? :Sunburst: Uh... chocolate maybe? :"Ever Essence": Not chocolate maybe. Chocolate definitely! And all of the benefits with none of the drawbacks. :Sunburst: Didn't this used to be a fruit stand? :"Ever Essence": I don't know what it used to be. The Sire's Hollow Development Committee determined what it is. :Sunburst: The Sire's Hollow Development what? Where do ponies buy fruit? :"Ever Essence": You can get a fruit smoothie two doors down. :Sunburst: All the shops are different. Everything's changed! :Starlight Glimmer: Not everything. That's the same as it ever was. :opens :"Raspberry Latte": Sorry. Our bookstore's been declared a site of historical significance by the Sire's Hollow Preservation Society. :"Minty Mocha": You'll have to experience the books from here. That's why windows are see-through. :slams :Sunburst: What?! :Starlight Glimmer: Preservation Society? What is happening around here? :Firelight: I'll explain it to you, sugarplum! chuckles You are just as cutesy-wutesy as ever! :Starlight Glimmer: muffled Dad! normally Quit it! What is going on? :Firelight: Oh, just a father wanting to preserve our town's rich history for his little pumpky-wumpkin! chuckles :Starlight Glimmer: Dad, you promised no "pumpky-wumpkin"'s in public! :Sunburst: laughter :Firelight: whispering Sorry, chipmunk cheeks. :smack! :Starlight Glimmer: Don't. You're preserving the whole town? That's crazy! :Stellar Flare: That's exactly what I told him! I said, "Firelight, you're crazy!" :Sunburst: Mom? :Stellar Flare: Our village needs the same thing you do, Sunburst – a clear plan for the future. :snip! :Stellar Flare: That's why I started the Sire's Hollow Development Committee. And I've got plans for this little town. Big plans! :Firelight: Listen here, Stellar Flare! I'm not gonna let you turn our historical heritage into Las Pegasus! :Stellar Flare: And I'm not gonna let you turn it into a museum! :Firelight and Stellar Flare: growling :Starlight Glimmer: W-Wait. Are you two fighting over this? :Sunburst: Like having a friendship problem? :Stellar Flare: Oh, there's no problem. :Firelight: Because there is no friendship! :Sunburst: Well, the good news is we know why we're here. :Starlight Glimmer: huffs :Sunburst: sighs Maybe we should've sent Spike after all. :Starlight Glimmer: sighs :sounds :Starlight Glimmer: Sunburst and I were called here to do a job, and it looks like you two are it. :Stellar Flare: You mean your success depends on us? :Sunburst: Uh... :Firelight: And you have to hang out with us the whole time you're here?! :Starlight Glimmer: Um... :Stellar Flare: Well, I'll hear what you have to say. But every plan I've made for this town is perfectly reasonable. :Firelight: Good luck convincing me my preservation efforts don't make sense. :Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: sighs :creaking :Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! :Starlight Glimmer: So we can't hold the books? :"Raspberry Latte": laughing No! :Sunburst: Can you hold the books? :"Minty Mocha": No. :Starlight Glimmer: So nopony can read the books? :Firelight: chuckles Isn't she adorable? chuckles :clanking :Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! :"Ever Essence": You can call them... mm... "smells". But I call them essence! :spritz :Sunburst: coughing :Starlight Glimmer: sniffs Fruity. :Sunburst: Too bad there's nowhere to get actual fruit. :Stellar Flare: In the future, all ponies will drink their fruit! :Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: slurping :Starlight Glimmer: coughing :thud :"Cracked Wheat": One hundred percent ancient pony grains! Just like the town founders ate! Hope you like crust! :thud :creaking :Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! :creaking :Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! :creaking :Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! :creaking :Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's Hollow! :creaking :Automated voice: Welcome to Sire's—! :Stellar Flare: Okay, it's annoying. I get it. :Firelight: Maybe my preservation efforts were a little over the top. :crash! :"Cracked Wheat": groans Oh, no. :Stellar Flare: And I might have been trying to turn the town into a shopping mall. :Firelight: Well, whatever direction the town takes from now on, how about we work together on it? :Stellar Flare: Deal! Sunburst, you should move closer to Ponyville. After this success, I'm sure the Princess of Friendship will want to send you on more missions. :smack! :Sunburst: That's not really how it works. Oh, look at the time! We should get going now that we solved the friendship problem, right, Starlight? :Starlight Glimmer: Yeah... The thing is, I don't think we did solve it. When we solve a friendship problem, our cutie marks are supposed to glow. :Firelight: Aw, don't be disappointed, puddin'. Your papa will work this out for ya. :Starlight Glimmer: Heh. My papa wasn't called by the map in Twilight's castle. I'' was. :'Stellar Flare': How are you gonna explain this to the princess? What's your plan if she fires you from friendship quests? :'Sunburst': Mom! She doesn't—! It-It's not—! :'Stellar Flare': Use your words, Sunburst. :'Sunburst': groan :'Starlight Glimmer': I guess you two weren't the problem we were sent to solve after all. :'Stellar Flare': So now you don't even know why you're here? Ah! We have to figure this out before we run out of time! :'Sunburst': sighs Mom, there isn't a time limit. :'Firelight': So you're here for an extra long visit? laughs You can stay in your old room, punkie wunk! It's just like you left it! :riff :'Starlight Glimmer': whispering We need to find this friendship problem now! :'Firelight': Now, I know you have your little job to do, but Stellar and I know the town a lot better than you two. :'Stellar Flare': That's right! Neither of you have been home in ages. You're gonna need our help to succeed! :'Starlight Glimmer': I guess that makes sense... :'Firelight''' and Stellar Flare: chuckling :Stellar Flare: I already have some ideas! :Firelight: Me, too! :Sunburst: I think I liked it better when they were fighting. :tapping :Firelight: Okay! Now that I've explained how Sire's Hollow was founded, we can start to explore all the possible friendship problems that might have developed over time. :Starlight Glimmer: inhales I appreciate the history lesson, Dad, but I need to find the problem now. In the present. :Firelight: Aw, now, hon-bun. How are you gonna do that without all the backstory, huh? Oh! Of course I know how hard it is for you to sit still and focus, soooo... would it help you pay attention to hold on to your bwankie? :Starlight Glimmer: growling :Stellar Flare: Now, you've had a little setback. But don't worry. I know exactly what you need to do. :Sunburst: Make a plan? :Stellar Flare: Already got one! Step one – interview the suspects. Step two – use your talents to solve the issue. Step three – get the Princess of Friendship to send you on more missions! :Sunburst: Mom! It does not work like that! :Stellar Flare: Uh-huh. :beat :Stellar Flare: throat :"Ever Essence": acted Oh! Thank goodness you are here! These two ponies refuse to use my essences. :"Raspberry Latte": Maybe because we don't like to cover our natural scent! :Stellar Flare: throat irritably :"Ever Essence": Ugh. :"Raspberry Latte": Ugh. :"Minty Mocha": sighs acted And she refuses to buy our books. :"Ever Essence", "Raspberry Latte", and "Minty Mocha": acted Surely this is a friendship problem. :Sunburst: Ugh! It needs to be a real friendship problem! You can't just make one up! groan :Stellar Flare: This is what happens when we don't rehearse! Ugh! :Firelight: Starlight? Sweetie? I found a really old town bylaw that nopony agrees on. Apparently, we're not supposed to prance or canter after dinnertime. Could that be the problem? Silly-filly? :Starlight Glimmer: Whew! What are you doing? :Sunburst: sighs Hiding from my mother. She started making up friendship problems for me to solve. :Starlight Glimmer: scoffs My dad won't even let me talk to anypony in case they're "strangers". I'm a grown mare! :Sunburst: sighs We're never going to find the friendship problem with them around, let alone solve it. :"Cracked Wheat": Maybe you two should start looking for it on your own? crunching :clicks :Starlight Glimmer: whispering Okay! So we wanted to talk to all of you, you know, in private. :Sunburst: whispering Just to see if there were issues any of you had with your friends. :"Ever Essence": whispering Got it. Just one question. Why are we whispering? :"Cracked Wheat": They're avoiding their parents. :"Ever Essence", "Raspberry Latte", and "Minty Mocha": Ohhhh... agreement :Sunburst: No. Not avoiding. Just... taking a break. :Starlight Glimmer: Yeah. We needed to focus. B-But we're definitely not avoiding them. :"Raspberry Latte": So you're whispering with all of us in the darkest corner of the shop where nopony can possibly see because you're not avoiding them? :Starlight Glimmer: Mm-hmm. :Sunburst: Uh, but they definitely can't hear us in here, right? :"Cracked Wheat": No way! This is the antiquities section. Nopony ever comes back here. :Firelight: There you are! But what are you doing in here? gasps Is the friendship problem in my favorite section of the bookstore? :Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: groans :Firelight: ...And then, I thought the best way to look for a friendship problem in the present... :Starlight Glimmer: Dad! :Firelight: ...was to look back in our town history even farther! :Starlight Glimmer: groan :Stellar Flare: Sunburst! Oh, finally! Now, I know you don't want me to make up a problem, but what if I start one? :Sunburst: That's not how this—! :Stellar Flare: I mean, nopony ever became a success by following all the rules, right? :Sunburst: angrily :Stellar Flare: Firelight How are things on your end? :Firelight: Couldn't be better! New leads and such! :Starlight Glimmer: Guys...? :Stellar Flare: We really are providing excellent assistance, aren't we? :Sunburst: Guys! :Firelight: I dare say our children should be grateful for our help. :Starlight Glimmer: Guys! :Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: We don't want your help! :Stellar Flare: I'm sorry. You don't want our help? :Firelight: chuckles That's... That's ridiculous! What reason could you possibly have for that? :Starlight Glimmer: Because you're driving us crazy! :Stellar Flare: Oh, really? And just how am I driving you crazy? :Sunburst: By always coming up with plans! I don't need a plan! I mean, maybe I do, but it'll be mine, not yours! :Stellar Flare: up Well... I'm sorry for trying to help! crying :Starlight Glimmer: And you're not any better! I'm not a filly! I'm a grown pony with a job to do, and I'll do it on my own! :Firelight: Well. I'll let you get to it then. :Starlight Glimmer: Great. Now we have to smooth things over with our parents on top of finding and solving a friendship problem. :Sunburst: It's almost like our relationship with our parents is the friendship problem. :Starlight Glimmer: You don't think that's it, do you? :"Cracked Wheat": throat That's what all of us think. :Starlight Glimmer: collapses Why couldn't we have been sent to stop a war or something?! :Starlight Glimmer: Dad? :Firelight: Hello, Ms. Glimmer. How is your friendship problem search going? I only ask as an interested observer, since I know you are an adult who's capable of doing things without help from anypony else. whimpers :Starlight Glimmer: Actually... I think Sunburst and I figured out what it is. :Firelight: So Stellar and I weren't really helpful after all. :Starlight Glimmer: Well, we haven't actually solved it. And I don't think we can. Not without you. :Stellar Flare: sniffs :spritz :Stellar Flare: coughing Pungent. Ugh. Sunburst Oh. Did you come by to be driven crazy by more of your mother's plans? :Sunburst: No, I came to apologize. :Stellar Flare: Well, it's going to take more than an apology to make up for telling me you don't want my help finding your friendship problem. :Sunburst: Oh, I'm not sorry for that. Starlight and I already figured out what the problem is. :Stellar Flare: This is a terrible apology. :Sunburst: Well, if you come with me and help fix it, I'll give you a better one. :Starlight Glimmer: Usually, Twilight or one of our other friends gets called to a place with a friendship problem to fix. :Sunburst: But Starlight and I realized we came here to fix a friendship problem we already had. :Starlight Glimmer: I'm sorry I've been avoiding coming home, Dad. But you can't keep treating me like a foal. :Firelight: I'm sorry, sugarbun. sighs I just know how hard things were for you when you left home. I guess I wanted you to feel safe, like... when you were young. :Starlight Glimmer: Dad, I know I've made some mistakes, and I'll probably make a bunch more. But I learn from them. I think that's what growing up is. :Sunburst: I'm sorry I never told you how much your plans bothered me, and I know you just want me to succeed. But I need to do that on my own. :Stellar Flare: I remember how lost you were when you flunked out of magic school. I thought as long as you had a plan, you'd never feel that way again. :Sunburst: You don't have to worry, Mom. I need to find my own way. And I definitely don't feel lost anymore. :sounds :"Cracked Wheat": crying That's so beautiful! :Stellar Flare: The glowing cutie mark is such a symbol of accomplishment. I don't suppose there's a way for you to get it to glow all the time. :Sunburst: chuckles Pretty sure it doesn't work that way. :Starlight Glimmer: Not unless we solved a friendship problem every few seconds, and I kinda hope this one will be it for a while. :Firelight: You know, it seems to me your map is saying we're not just your parents. Heh. We're your friends, too. :Starlight Glimmer: I guess so. :Firelight: So if I promise to treat you less like a little filly and more like a friend, will you visit more? :Starlight Glimmer: Absolutely. Mmm. :Sunburst: And if you start to drive me crazy again, I'll tell you instead of never coming home. :Stellar Flare: That's lovely of you to say, dear. But you know, I can always visit you. :Firelight: Stellar, you're a genius! laughs How do you feel about a road trip? :Stellar Flare: I might have a few plans for that. :Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst: nervously :chugging :credits